• Suspend the occupying,
• hold the protesting, 
• take a break from freeing Tibet - we need your help.

Companies worldwide are trying like hell to convice you that you need to carry THEIR particular plastic member card around in your wallet, and it's becoming increasingly clear that as our personal collection grows, it does so with a uniformity that gaps every country and culture. Everywhere you go in the world, the "credit card" plastic card is universally understood to exist at its chosen size.

Business cards were supposed to grow extinct in our paperless world, but the reality is that eventhough we may choose not to add them to our Rolodex any longer, they still have the necessary staying power to migrate and often find homes in our wallets.

So why then, are they sized to not co-exist in perfect harmony?

It seems an easy enough problem to solve, but if you go to any printer and ask them for a rounded corner, credit card sized business card, you'll be charged through the wazoo for such an incredible request.

Sharkbite is committed to ending this great divide and will endevour to make harmony in this critical area.

Peace out.

This was way cool in grade 4 when we would stencil our name using the pencil crayons we ripped off of that Jenkins kid in the back (the one with that scaly recurring rash), but unless Uncles Sarge's Army Discount needs a quick sign for the sale bin - this font needs to die quietly - or loudly, we don't care.

Oh dear god... please take this font and banish it to hell.

OK, so maybe it's not the worst out there, but it was so widely used in the 70s that it is now (even after all these years) overplayed and it must be killed.

Like a savage force moving through my cousin's colon after pork day at the company bar-B-Q, we must unite to strike this tricky little "distress-edge" typeface from our collective memories. Unfortunately, the art director responsible for Avatar resurrected it for their marketing campaign, and now it's back. 

Blech... yuck... chunky, piece of turd. 

It's widely agreed amoung almost everyone on earth at once that this font needs to be crushed. A favourite article by Mike Lacher says it all (warning, explicit writing if you follow this link. Also there's some swear words): http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole

BE GONE CURLY FONT, BE GONE AND TAKE YOUR UNATURALLY CURLY HAIR WITH YOU!

Affectionately known as "Mr. Al"... you are no longer welcome here. You are hideous and continuously show up at that strange fusion deli two blocks from my house announcing some discount on goat ball soup. Your services are no longer needed.

Admittedly, we have used this font... but we are ashamed and repent all sins for this oversight. Keep moving... nothing to see here. What's that?... sure, take the whole pack.

It's over. The lights are out and the rabble have left. Show's over.

It's our number one choice for bad font, based almost entirely on the fact that the capital letter "B" looks like someone sticking their butt out of the window of the Partidge Family's bus.

We've been doing this job for over two decades now. You lower your guard for what seems like a split second and in it came; the dreaded suck-the-life-out-of-everything client.

Every designer knows this adversary... rash-like negativity, time-sucking sensibilities, "thrifty" disposition... the absolute epitome of despair. Perhaps the greatest issue at hand is how we actually managed to miss the signs.

Let's review:

1. First Contact

Client makes contact through a Google search, emails are exchanged, information requested... all good. Project turns out to be website redesign; all info is available online or through email, but client insists on meeting in person and insists on their office. Not a big warning... we're going to be kind and only give us a little warning here:  

2. Initial Meeting

Check the route to the meeting. It turns out that the location is somewhere just a tad north of Middle Earth.   

Arrive and find the "office" is cleverly disguised as some dude's condo.  

Condo-office is not office at all, but a true dude pad complete with three extremely dour dudes in there. Tension is tight and all the usual ice-breaking jokes go cold. We're now a cheap six-pack away from a bad night out with the boys.  

Offered seat on a blue "pleather" couch. Three dudes take their place in dining chairs directly across. Squishy couch sucks me down far below normal sitting level, feel much like Sid Dithers, but way lower.  

Client's business turns out to be manufacturer of kid related products. Dour dudes look way out of place... David Suzuki selling Hummers would be a more natural fit.  

Mid-way through meeting, client produces site mock-ups that were done by another company. "Why weren't these used?"... "things didn't work out", they say.    

Meeting goes past 1.5 hours... "president" offers up words like "hmmm" and "mmmm", followed by excessive chin scratching.   

3. Project Process

Estimate is approved. Deposit request is made. After 3 weeks, requested deposit for 50% of the project doesn't show up. Order closed.    

Requested deposit shows up 2 weeks after project is closed.  

Project begins.

Proofs go out. Phone calls come in to describe requested changes. Suggest email, but client no like email. Client uses phrases like "we want these changes made, but don't feel we should have to pay for them." 

4. The End

Proof limit was intended to be 3 rounds, but we go 12. After this many rounds feel like Apollo Creed, but with way better acting lessons. 

Hours go WAY over estimate. We eat 20+ hours at next staff get-together. Produce invoice. Client no pay.   

Three strikes. Blog post. Cleanse out icky feeling and fall back into bliss with normal clients.

Related post: "Loving Your Clients"

We were then asked if we had done the diligent research to make sure the final logo was indeed, original.

"Of course!" we stated with confidence, "but everyone knows what a challenge it is to ensure absolute originality."

The blank stares assured us that not everyone knows this.

In fact, it was questioned, what with Google image searches and the lot, shouldn't it be way easier to figure this out?

At Sharkbite, we definitely do extensive searches once we get started on an original idea, but you can exhaust your time and wallet trying to comb every inch of the globe; at some point you have to resign yourself to the skill of your searches, the originality of the creative process and settle on your idea. 

Here is the new logo we developed for Geoscientists Canada:

Here are the closest images we could source:

Similar, but not the same.

There are some sites cropping up out there (like GazoPa) which claim to be able to match your image against others out there in cyberspace, but they have yet to acquire a universal database to rival Google Images.

CreativeBits.com has some good suggestions that include:

1. Post your logo on international design websites for critique - Designers in general pay lot of attention to logos they see in communication and have probably tens of thousands of logos in their memory.
2. Search for symbols - If you have a very distinct symbol, for example a horse head or a bell you should try to search by keyword adding the words "logo" or "symbol" to your query. Because google uses human volunteers to keyword the images in its library it is possible your search will come up with something useful.
3. Payed trademark research - There are many agencies specializing in researching trademarks. Only issue is cost and limitations to a single country.
4. Search for similar images - Use Google Similar Images and GazoPa.

When Logos Look Alike

Taken from a popular post from LogoDesignLove.com, here are some ridiculously similar brands that are in use today:

Want to see more? View the full post here.

The Handshake

The Visible Workflow Charts

The Beautiful-ethnically-balanced-no-way-in-hell-they'd-have-this-job Call Centre People

But what we really love is when we stumble on the cheesy beauties that make you spin in your chair and cry out "hey guys, you have got to take a look at this!":

10 Examples of Photo Fromage

Composition Checklist:

1. squishy pink ball? - check
2. matching banana-hammock? - check
3. proud white dude with no shame? - check

It's not the hit-you-in-the-face concept that's bothersome... it's the age of that laptop that's unsettling.

"We're amazingly beautiful, come from 33% of other parts of the world and floss religiously! We rock!"

WTF?

The only thing that might make this worse would be to put black-face make-up on him.

We have no idea what this photo could ever be used for...

Is she upset with the thumb ring? The ponytail?
Probably just pissed about the Chardonnay/Ritz crackers combo.

Oh yes... we not only believe that you're a totally cool, hip band, but can tell for sure that you know how to play those instruments.

Who are six people who will never get modelling gigs again?

OK, not a stock photo (awkwardfamilyphotos.com) - but it's giving me the willies. Did she kill the bird with that thing?

"Those “savvy clients” just got a shitty design, the winner got some shitty pittance for their effort, and all of the other shitty designers got jack shit for their shitty work." - Kevin Potts, GraphicPush.com

I apologize for the assault-esque quote off the bat, but Kevin really cuts through it all to make a point.

Let's back up a bit and introduce 99design.com - a crowd-sourcing site that according to their About Us page is "a disruptive startup which connects passionate designers from around the globe with savvy clients who need design projects completed in a timely fashion without the usual risk or cost associated with professional design." 

Yup, you sure don't want the usual risk of paying for something professional...

I digress.

I've got to hand it to this startup... they're on to something here. The site is a well designed interface that links potential clients with anonymous "designers" who seem to be willing to provide design work for nothing more than a chance to be paid. While I can't help but slip into the opinion that this is simply a form of exploitation, the fact remains that no one is putting a gun to anyone's head here; there are people out there who are willing to take on a healthy risk of doing work for nothing. And furthermore, 99design.com has found a whole slew of "savvy clients" who want nothing more than a thoughtless investment in cheap labour, with meaningless results. 

The reality is that most of these contests pay out about $200 - $300 and that's before 99design.com takes their cut ($35 per) and even then, the "client" can back out if nothing strikes their fancy. For all of the passionate designers who entered the contest and submitted work, well, they could quite possibly get nothing.

So let me see if I get this straight:

1. You, the client, "hosts a design contest" for say, $200 (payable in advance to 99design.com) to design your corporate brand - the singularly most important piece of design that communicates your business.
2. You collect posted designs over a small period of time (we saw an average between 50 - 80 "designs")
3. You view, review and hum-and-haw over these designs and then deliberate if any of them caught the essence of your business. You now have to decide if you'll use any of them at all.
4. You breathe a huge sigh of relief as you pull-out on the payment of that earlier massive $200 investment (minus the 35 bucks you give to 99design.com - to compensate for putting you in touch with a slew of people who are willing to work for free).

How is this not exploitation?

But pushing that aside, the reality is that some businesses believe they need a logo and don't really care about the level of connection or its ability to communicate. Anyone who's desperate enough to work for free is exactly what the savvy 99design.com client wants. This is a very nice union of two groups looking for each other.

What I gleaned most from the list of clients hosting contests is that this is a nice tidy list of all the clients that we don't necessarily want to work with.

Signalnoise.com's tastefully designed poster, sold to raise money for relief efforts, raises tough questions about the role of "pretty" design in a sensitive situation.

The entire post can be found on fastcodesign.com here.

Estimating is the most difficult part of our jobs - designing logos, websites, etc. may seem identical between clients + projects, but the reality is that we provide custom work and getting the final amount of hours correct is part guess, part experience and part science.

Clients make decisions to work with us based on price or experience or past work or gut feeling... whatever the criteria, we are always asked for estimates and while we must provide some basis of price to provide a ballpark, we begin the process by working on assumptions.

• Will the client be well organized?
• Have they worked with a design studio before?
• How many people are involved in the decision making process?
• For branding requests, how much time is needed to accurately research their positioning and competition?
• What is their budget?
• Are there time constraints?

All of these questions play an important role in the process and frankly, we never really know these answers as we sharpen our pencils and provide a starting estimate.

If we were to base all of our estimates on worse-case scenarios, we could be providing pricing that doesn't accurately reflect the process of working with a well organized and collaborative client. The same could be said for estimating too efficiently and then walking straight into a disorganized and demanding client.

Quote too low and you could be perceived as not capable; quote too high and you could miss the opportunity...finding that sweet spot is the almighty challenge.

Facebook was built on personal interaction. The usual post from friends and family are still the backbone of this social media giant and while it's certainly no secret that businesses have participated in the dialogue, they've always had different access and were required to adapt to a slightly different communication model, communicating alongside traditional posts and replies.

That's all changed now with Facebook relaunching the look of all the specialized participants. Now businesses, fan or group pages can interact with anyone much like a friend or family member and designers are being called on to customize pages to enhance the communication process. At Sharkbite, our strategy for business pages within Facebook is to provide a secondary web presence that works alongside the corporate web site; providing people with access to all of the key information without having to leave Facebook's living room. Linking to a company's main site is crucial, but that path is clearly identified so that people can comfortably decide if they would like to make the leap out.

From a creative perspective our designers build custom business pages that complement the aesthetic of Facebook so that the experience integrates with the overall surroundings. We've seen too many custom pages that try to force their own branding into the pages with the end result being a disjointed experience both from an aesthetic and usability perspective.

Keeping businesses communicating with the fluidity of the personal experience is a smart move for Facebook and challenges designers to keep stride with the changes. It's just keeping up with the pace that challenges us - really cuts into our 3 martini lunches.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some samples of Sharkbite customized business sites:

• Abbeymoore Manor
• Brentwood Bay Resort
• BC Innkeepers

I'm the first to admit that you can't believe what you see anymore... mostly because I've seen the process from the inside, and it can make you feel slightly uneasy if the result is from your own hand.

Take a look at the skill behind these touch-ups:

This last one's a little scary...

Company: Rising Sun Sushi
Logo Concept: A tea house with the Japanese red sun behind it.

"Yeah... I can make out the behind..."

Company: Who cares... they're probably hiding
Logo Concept: Two characters dancing

"Could also double as a chest x-ray logo."

Company: The Computer Doctors
Logo Concept: swapping out the useless letter "U" for some sort of mouse

"Don't be embarrassed by hard drive failure, we're doctors."

Company: Kudawara Pharmacy
Logo Concept: Two people bumping into each other to form a "K"

"We stand behind our customers"

Company: Checkpoint Computuers
Logo Concept: get your five-year old to whip up something on the cheap

"We know technology... and it looks like a crayon drawing"

Company: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Logo Concept: Develop a swarthy-looking winking metrosexual with guy-liner - what any tailgating, drunken Sunday buffoon aspires to be.

"OK Jenkins, let's be sure to design something that will make the fans feel really weird!"

Company: London 2012 Olympics
Logo Concept: who the hell knows, but it definitely involved sucking helium and getting out that box of pencil crayons from way in the back

"Some have said it looks like Lisa Simpson involved in some sort of social engagement."

Company: Kids Exchange
Logo Concept: fun kiddie writing and lovely bright colours

"Who needs those pesky spaces between words?"

Company: The Denver Nuggets
Logo Concept: get some Grade Eights to draw some pictures on foolscap for the enduring look of a championship franchise

"They were years ahead of their time.. what with inventing Tetris and all."

Company: Clinica Dental
Logo Concept: Show some real intense patient interaction.

"I think if you choose to use some sort of 70s stick figures in your logo design, your chances of hitting an ambiguously sexual identity increase by 700%"

Sayaka has already created a number of such sculptures for her collection, all which draw inspiration from her time abroad in various countries. As an artist creating these pieces, she attempts to unravel and understand the mysteries of the world. She believes that by taking arbitrary pieces of discarded materials and fitting them together in a sculpture, sense can be made.

Check out Sayaka's site here

The genius behind this site is Matthew Inman, a designer working out of Seattle. I'm hoping he'll accept the reproduction of these images as an act of paid homage rather than setting out on a "let's-sue-their-asses" rampage ;)

Every designer has experiened this: How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell. 

NOTE: If you're an existing client and you're reading this... it's not about you :)

The highlights:

Check out The Oatmeal for the full, very funny version. I love this guy...

Starting with a website and some basic marketing materials, we provided branding assistance and design services with the goal of injecting some life into this previously neglected business.

By the end of the first year, this heritage mansion in the heart of the Rockland neighbourhood in BC's capital city quickly grew in stature and reputation and today holds the distinction of being rated by TripAdvisor.com as the #1 ranked B&B in Canada and the #2 ranked B&B in the world!

While it's nice to think that Sharkbite was a catalyst to the success of Abbeymoore, I've stayed here many times and can only say that you have to experience it for yourself to understand why the credit goes entirely to the innkeepers. The place is warm, comfortable, inviting, friendly and private all rolled into one. Anne and Ian are wonderful hosts, with that perfect ability to be there when you need them and invisible when you don't - always a sign of impeccable service... the sort of trained attention you would expect from a 5-star establishment.

But it's not just my word, Suzanne Morphet wrote recently in WestJet's Up Magazine that "we learn what makes Abbeymoore Manor so special: it’s not about the rooms or the food, as fantastic as they are. The reason people love this place is because Ian and Anne care to get to know you."

That pretty much sums it up. 

So in conclusion, Sharkbite Art + Design is the sole reason behind the success of the Abbeymoore Manor in Victoria... don't believe anything else.

P.S. Check out their blog too!

OK... we're frickin' busy, busy, busy. We have many projects going. I've got quotes to prepare. 51 emails this morning. The guy in the office downstairs is complaining that the bass riffs from our office are messin' with his mojo. I have a dinner to prep tonight and my neck's got this weird pinchy-pain coming from what's probably inoperable brain tumours. I need to go for more workouts. Damn, I missed bball last night. I've got this great idea for a book of poems. I want more time with my kids. I think that bank short-changed me today on my US conversion rate. Apparently my toe-tapping while working is driving people around me nuts. I love our new client, BC Pharmacy Association. I think I'll change my dentist. What's the deal with volts vs. watts? Man, my kids are cute. I have to get down to see my sister's show. It's only a 5-minute walk away.

The book of poems will be called "Chatterbites on a Whole Beach Run"... my next blog post!

Olympic Cowichan Sweater won't be knit by First Nation

While cruising through the Sandals site to explore their site design, I came across the above image. It freaked me out right away but I was having trouble putting my finger on the root cause.

I guessed it was because as a viewer (and potential customer) I was supposed to see myself as this yahoo in a pool getting happy over the thought of a guy in a soaking wet suit and gloves shaking a cocktail for me; the pure joy of slipping off my chair in the shade in order to find the most pretentious way imaginable to order a drink.

But all pessimism aside, I think the true uneasiness comes from the fact that this is such an obvious photoshop job... it sets off all my designer's spidey senses.

What the hell happened to the water-waiter's legs?

More bad photoshop examples (insert simple Google search) here:

Detached arm for Sandra Bullock and pasted on head for Bradley Cooper!

Crazy, wacky kids... I mean the ones that were paid to do this layout work...

"10-4 good buddy... can I stop hiding down here and maybe you can hold this yourself for a while?"

"Awww... that's adorable... he's got his daddy's legs!"

And I guess these examples exist because someone hired a bogus designer or rushed a deadline or ran with a tiny budget... all harmless fun. It's examples like this below one issued from Sepah News, the media arm of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards news site that are really scary:

Mandate:

a gathering of ONLY men.

Activites during mandates include cruising, playing madden, going to wendy's. When one is one a mandate, one must show the mandate symbol. This is done by crossing the middle finger and the ring finger so the hand resembles an "M". 

Example: "Damn that mandate was off the hook"

Mimbo (or Himbo):

A mimbo is a good looking male who either is or acts like he is extremely stupid. The female counterpart of the mimbo is the bimbo.

Example: "He's hot... probably can't hold down a job, but I like dating mimbos like him because they don't give you trouble or try to control you."

Manzeer (or "Bro"):

Word describing a bra designed for men that possess droopy, saggy, or otherwise oversized pectoral fat. Such men could be said to have "man boobs".

Example: "If Jack's man cans get any bigger he is going to need a manzeer to keep from getting black eyes."

Murse:

A man-purse; very fashion-forward right now, seen on many hipster guys. Some like to call it a European Carry-All, but it's really just a bag for boys.

Example: "Wow, Snoop's new laptop fits perfectly into that small bag he carries"... "Fo shizzle ma nizzle - great murse!"

Note: The term "murse" has also been commonlyassociated with a Male Nurse... made famous by Ben Stiller as Gaylord Focker in Meet the Parents.

Mantyhose:

Support hose for men, used by those who've found a passion for pantyhose, claiming they wear the hosiery for support, comfort and aesthetic purposes. Instructions on how to put them on can be found here.

Example: "Until I found mantyhose, I had a hell of time holding it all together."

Have I missed any others?

I hope you'll let me know if I have...

I know, I know... this blog is supposed to be a place where we offer up bits of info relating to the business of design; our business of design, to be more accurate... But the reality is that I know the stats to date so far - and this forum is still in its infancy and traffic is about 3 steps below a crawl at this point so I could really hang up anything right now and it wouldn't matter.

So what the hell... here's some shameless personal self promotion showing our family's Christmas card for this year. We've been doing it since my first son was born in 2002, so welcome to the 8th version of our annual tradition. Happy holidays.

It started out as a joke... scan in some twenties then email them to a friend who's been waiting on the 200 bucks I owe him.

The scanning part was easy. I've done it before when I scanned a crisp $100 bill then photoshopped my 100 year-old aunt on to it, output it to a 4' x 8' banner and brought it to her birthday party. I've even scanned in loonies, twoonies... probably a few more I can't recall... all part of the job, really.

But today, when scanning in this fistful of twenties, I tried opening the file in photoshop only to get this error message:

Click on the INFORMATION link and you get told that:

"The counterfeiting of currency is a crime, and any reproduction of banknote images – even for artistic or advertising uses – is strictly forbidden."

and then this last line: "The Bank monitors Web sites for abuses."

YIKES!

Apparently I've now opened myself up to the possibility of "imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months and a maximum fine of $2,000"

OUCH!

And because I'm so curious, I did a quick Google search to see how The Bank was doing at their website monitoring and got these 2 million + results in .21 seconds:

Not too hard to find top-surface criminals... my favourite is Obama and his twenty bucks.

I can only imagine the reaction that would come to that new counterfeiter when the realization that all of his hopes and dreams are dying in front of his eyes as his scan is blocked from the gates of Photoshop... the great big "doh" that would ensue... the tears, the sound of crumbling dreams - all ruined by those meddling kids at Adobe.

Of course, it only took me a couple of clicks and a screenshot to get my path to incarceration started... and this blog post waving in the face of the The Bank Monitors isn't going to help. Anybody know of a good lawyer?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And just for fun,... here's that $100 bill with my great Aunt Ivy on it:

Our holiday card to our beloved clients and suppliers this year has been greatly expanded to include a new colour palette that we're certain will sweep the design world by some sort of storm - or disturbance.

Inspired by some delicious recipes that were in heavy rotation in the late 60s and early 70s, our crack team of designers have come up with a truly classic holiday colour scheme that will leave your senses in a catatonic state of wonder. The rich hues accompany five classic recipes that are sure to be a hit over the next few weeks, and if you are one of the lucky recipients of this year's mail-out, we encourage you to try out one of the recipes and embrace a reclaimed love of good food from an almost forgotten era.

Here's a sneak peek at the delicious offerings:

Please do enjoy this free colour scheme offered only here. Use the colours in your next design or see what's close in your sock drawer and mix and match your wardrobe - go crazy with the whole thing! We truly hope that you too find yourself inspired for the smells that could fill the air...

Winexpert's corporate site is now live and and some scores are just now coming in... 9.5, 10, 9.9,... doh! it looks like we may have gotten a 7.5 from my mother (disguised as the Russian judge of course).

So why am I undertaking such an obvious display of back-patting?

Well, to start... besides being our maiden blog post, this site represents a broad launch of many sites that stem from this one. Sharkbite was commissioned over a year ago to develop a site program that would provide Winexpert's retailers with powerful sites that would have a dynamic connection to the corporate site.

14 months later, and the Winexpert WebKit Program is launched; high-powered site options for retailers that will allow them to increase sales without having to incur high costs or chew up valuable work time. Reaction from wine retailers across the country has been HUGE and we are now busy customizing these sites to launch in 2-3 weeks. A great example of a WebKit site can be viewed at BeyondTheGrape.com. 

Launched simultaneously is also  the Limited Edition 20-year Anniversary site that highlights one of Winexpert's most successful brands, Limited Edition. Check it out... you could win FREE WINE!... even a wine fridge.

All of this would not be possible without the amazing talents of our programming partners at Azaris Studios, makers of the Vortex CMS engine that runs these sites.

And for those of you who know me and the way I preach the good benefits of blogging and business, forgive me for such a tardy, overdue, late, delayed, slow, dilatory and behind schedule Sharkbite blog... it's "the cobbler's kids have no shoes" syndrome... we've just been too busy making other business work, that we've neglected our own for far too long.

Thanks for listening | Clay Yandle